AL North

-This is a division that highlights that the league isn’t so much separated into the haves and have nots, but the tries and the try nots. The disparity between the top two teams and the bottom two teams represents a common thread amongst each league.
-Augusta made a huge splash in free agency when they acquired renowned slugger Wiki Armas, but more credit for the team’s success should go to Cleveland holdovers Brian Mays and Roosevelt Adcock. The turnaround has been sharp, but it also makes one wonder how successful dmurphy could have been if he spent half the effort on his team as he did on selling stolen Wii Fits online.
-Toledo trading Wilfredo Gonzalez in-season within the division might seem shocking, but Gonzalez had to go. He wouldn’t let anyone have the remote in the locker room, and insisted on watching reruns of Chopped.
-Virgil Seanez is destined for the DL this season. Not because he’s injury-prone, but because he’ll throw his back out carrying this team.
-gin still doesn’t give a shit about you or this league. He’ll tank all he goddamn pleases. And if it gets him more players like future stud pitcher Bernie Quintero, it might just help him eventually become respectable again.

AL East

-Cy Townsend for Norfolk eats boogers.
-It’s bullshit how many good young players Stu has in his organization.
-Wichita is using great pitching and Gill McMillan to make a push for the division crown, but the real unsung hero for this team is cbriese. Because I’m pretty sure he’s paying for it all and randomly throws players his son’s way to fill out an already strong roster.
-Buffalo’s top draft pick Stretch Martin went on the DL with back spasms, which is somewhat ironic because he probably would have been fine if he actually stretched.
-Pittsburgh selected elite catcher Wilson Harper with the third pick of the draft. Harper used his $5,501,000 bonus to buy a shitload of pajama jeans. He likes to wear them when he’s catching a bullpen session, and even asked the minor league affiliates of Pittsburgh to adopt denim-themed uniforms. So if he says he’s into pajama jeans because he’s being ironic, he’s a lying twat. He loves those pants.

AL South

-For some reason, Sam Swindell always draws the most awful trade offers. Sure, he’s an odd player to evaluate because his low stamina means he’s either an upper echelon starter who can’t get deep into games, or a relief pitcher who can’t really throw all that frequently. But the return suggested by other teams always seems to more or less reflect what you’d get for an above average Set Up A pitcher.
-Montgomery Rule V pick Deep Throat Lee is really popular with the Alabama gay community (i.e. jktcat and Nick Saban), but he insists the name came from his parents’ affinity for anonymous political informants and not anything sexual.
-Kansas City never seems to make any off-season upgrades, and yet still finds itself contending for the division title. Babypop likes to keep everything in house as an organization. The rationalization isn’t that KC is awesome at talent acquisition or developing players, it’s more because babypop is too shy to talk to new players. He’s waiting for the free agents to come to him.
-San Antonio was shocked when slugger Juan Cano dropped to them in the draft. For all intensive purposes, this was a steal. It had them rethinking why he dropped as much as he did. Did they do well enough research? Maybe. But rumor has it that some teams took him off their boards because he listed Whitney as his favorite TV show on a background information survey and they wonder what sort of brain damage he has.
-Ha. Bret. Remember when people thought he wouldn’t suck? That worked out. I can’t even tell if this terrible season is on purpose or not.

AL West

-The fact that Salem is still sometimes playing Hootie Stewart has to be illegal, right? It’s at least unethical to abuse a corpse like that.
-Colorado decided to invest $0 in amateur scouting budgets in a season when they had three first round draft picks. Yeah, the picks were pretty terrible, but they were still better than some of the ones bret would make when he was actually trying.
-The Colorado beat writers have openly started a Hal Fitzgerald for MVP campaign on twitter, but they haven’t yet found a deft pun to use as a catchphrase. So far they have “AL MVP? Go to Hal.” Or “Fitz In Your Box”.
-Albuquerque decided to resign Albert Encarnacion. He’s got an ERA under 4.00 for the first time in ten seasons, so winepimp figured he’d reward him by tacking on another year to his contract. Encarnacion needed the money anyway. He practically went bankrupt when he invested all his money into packs of Garbage Pail Kid trading cards and the Garbage Pail market started drying up.
-One has to wonder what dirt Edgard Amaro has on Fregoe for him to even be on the ML roster, and making over $600,000. My guess is he saw Fregoe pressing his dick into silly putty to see what happens.

NL North

-Cincinnati OF Shaggy Barnes still has never seen Anchorman despite everyone else on the team telling him he “needs to see it”
-Detroit isn’t winning the division, but the team isn’t letting themselves feel down. Instead robusk has them all listening to this album from Kurt Vile.
-Insiders are becoming wary as there hasn’t been any mention recently from robusk about how his team is just overachieving or shouldn’t really be contending for the playoffs. Competing teams are feeling uneasy about the lack of gratuitous self-promotion, because they can’t gauge their own deficiencies otherwise.
-When David Bako came off the Disabled List, people in Hartford cried from their genitals.
-Columbus wound up releasing recent draftee Davey Smith because it was determined that he was not, in fact, former professional wrestler the British Bulldog.

NL East

-Even dherz’s farts have a lisp.
-New York pitcher Ray Putnam has been using some of his salary to fund and produce an off-Broadway play called War Whores. The response has been mixed, calls have not been returned by Spielberg, but Putnam proudly tells anyone around that the puppet sex scenes in his story are much better than in Team America. Specifically stating: “War Whores is like Brown Bunny, Team America is like Bugs Bunny.”
-It had to be a mistake that tylermathias won a World Series. This season is more appropriate for what should be happening in Dover. They should not have strayed so far from mediocrity, because they’ve now lost their identity as a team. Gill McMillan was so disappointed by the change in organizational values that he did not consider returning to Dover.
-Scranton, admirably, is still continuing the experiment of playing two Designated Hitters, despite being in the NL. Phillip May and Octavio Valenzuela are not meant to play the field. But I guess that’s why Alcheez sees a little of himself in those two…
-Brad Leach is black? I never noticed before. It sucks that he can close all those games for jwelsh, but still isn’t allowed in the water ice store.

NL South

-You would think Memphis’ Ryuu Chong knows karate or some martial arts, but he doesn’t.
-I’m really surprised that Bill Mahoney has never had a DL stint in his playing career. I guess good budgeting and good luck can help. But can they help him now that he’s been SUPERJINXED?
-What’s the rez stand for in that rezlife shit Vandydave is always talking about? Is that some Midwestern slang for retarded?
-I bet Clay Knotts would have a hard time making knots out of clay. I think most people would.
-Let it be known that Texas relief pitcher Hootie Pote pronounces his last name like “pootie”. And it’s lots of fun for announcers to say outloud.
-Mexico City had been pretty consistently stellar for a while there. Then once they break the bank to sign Slim Betemit, the team goes to the shitter. Betemit is having the worst season of his career, and he has chimichangas to blame for it.
-It’s weird that as defensively conscious as Mexico City is, they somehow have ten minus plays from their pitching staff. Did someone tell them the grass around the mound is hot lava?

NL West

-Congratulations on your division title, Tisi.
-San Diego really gets a kick out of starting right handed bats.
-Cheyenne’s Grant Simas is Matt Stairs’ favorite fake player on a website he didn’t know existed.
-It’s only a matter of time before Gill Cho starts reeling off Cy Young awards. He’s good already, but the only trophies he’s got now are the used underwear of previous sexual conquests. I’m just surprised the guys didn’t notice their underwear was missing.
-I wonder how many players have trash-talked Mo Mosely by calling him Ho Mo. It has to be pretty high. I doubt there’s much originality in name-calling on the baseball diamond.

We are a little beyond the halfway point. We’ve had the All Star game. We’ve had patrickm forget to give us Diamonds in the Rough. We’ve had Fregoe decide to start tanking.

It’s about time for another set of power rankings.

I wanted to get a gauge of the consensus opinion, so I solicited for people to supply their Top Ten and Bottom Five. I received votes from 8 people, including myself.

Here you go, whiner:

1.      San Antonio – 62-33 – Previously ranked first overall, San Antonio has gone 31-22 since our first Power Rankings installment. Of the eight voters, rlahann’s squad received five first place votes. They’re pacing the league in most pitching categories, and it’s really quite remarkable when an American League team who is subjected to facing Designated Hitters has the fewest runs allowed of all teams.

2.      Montgomery – 59-36 – Ranked 8^th at the quarterpoint, Montgomery has gone 35-18 and made up ground on rlahann for best record in the division, much less the league. The recipient of the other three first place votes, Montgomery recently squandered an opportunity to gain more ground on San Antonio. The series coming out of the All-Star break saw the Stan Rhodes Memorials take the first two games before a rough outing in the third game and a heartbreaking 17-inning defeat in the fourth game, ensuring a series split.

3.      San Diego – 59-36 – San Diego has been on an incredible tear since the quarterpoint, skyrocketing up the power rankings after going 38-15 over the last few weeks. They graded fairly highly on most ballots, except for one by a rival and another by someone’s statistical theory.

4.      Salem – 57-38 – Moy has gone 30-23 since our last update. He’s distanced himself in his division, somewhat. While some could argue that this team has played above expectations, it consistently placed in the middle of all top ten lists.

5.      San Francisco – 54-41 – Acecards’ team has gone 32-21 since the last update to move further up the rankings. They actually had the same number of weighted votes as our next team, but got a bump because they were consistently higher ranked and the only low ranking came from an NL rival. One ranking metric that was used included runs per at-bat as a consideration, and San Francisco fares exceptionally well in this ranking, especially compared to their National League counterparts.

6.      Mexico City – 54-41 – The Quetzalcoatl have gone 29-24 since our last update, but still don’t have much separation in what’s looking like the National League’s best division. With the highest expected winning percentage in the National League and an unfortunate 2-10 record in Extra Inning games, there is still room to improve.

7.      St Louis – 52-43 – The fastest risers on this list, St. Louis has gone 33-20 since the last update to contend in the National League South. The fact that users with advanced metrics as a determining guide for their rankings have St. Louis as high as they do is indicative of the progress they’ve made, because they were off to a terrible start in the beginning of the season. It went beyond a regression to the mean, and the pendulum has swung in the complete opposite direction. With a talented roster, St. Louis is starting to look like a much more significant opponent down the stretch in the NL

8.      Dover – 52-43 – Tylermathias losing his job and actually paying attention to this team has led them to go 25-28 since our last update. They still hold a secure lead of the NL East, but it’s beginning to slowly dwindle. Excluding divisional games, against what is generally a weak group, this is just a .500 team.

9.      Montreal – 52-43 – Gin has gone 31-22 since our last ranking, mostly out of spite. He’s moved past a slumping Toledo team to take control of a division in flux. Potential reason? This is the most walked team in the league. Low-control pitchers will really struggle against this line-up.

10.  Kansas City – 48-47 – Kind of a surprise final entrant, considering of the eight voters they only made it onto two ballots. But because of the depth/mediocrity of this league, the back-end votes were split amongst many franchises. Kansas City actually held the edge because robusk gave them a second-place vote on the heels of a measurement that shows Kansas City has been performing very well in both facets of the game, and is proven largely unlucky. I never double-checked his math, but Babypop says this team has the biggest difference between BABIP and Batting Average, which is odd because they actually lead the league in batting average.

Other teams receiving votes included an Albuquerque team that just swept San Antonio not too long ago, and has steadily decreased moy’s division lead… Memphis was on the most ballots of the teams that didn’t make the cut, but with consistently low placing, most teams apparently don’t have much respect for the 53-42 record, which sits as the fourth best in the NL… Philadelphia, Fargo, Milwaukee, and Norfolk each had one lone supporter. It’s especially interesting that Fargo received votes for this previous list, and our next one:

The Bottom Five

28. Louisville – 41-54- Bret has made progress with this team compared to the first quarter, as they’ve gone 28-25 in that span. The peripherals suggest that maybe Louisville’s slow start was just a result of epically bad luck, but the issue probably resides with a league worst .293 opponent’s batting average allowed. While they have made some strides since starting off so abysmally, they’re still awfully awful.

29. Buffalo – 40-55 – tracyr’s squad has gone 23-30 since our last update. They have the second-most strikeouts in the league, and were one of only two teams to make each of the five “Worst Five” ballots submitted.

30. New York (AL) – 37-58 – The DANZAS have gone 21-32 since the last update. They’re the most struck out team in the league. I guess compared to the awful start, this is still progress. But they still suck.

31. New York (NL) – 39-56 – The Bowie Mafia have gone 24-29 since the previous power rankings. They haven’t shown much improvement. Either that can be traced back to dherz spending too much time with his geriatric neighbors in Tampa Bay, or the complete lack of talent on the ML roster. Regardless, they don’t score nearly enough runs. It’s the most anemic offense in the league by most statistical analysis, and it has squandered a decent pitching performance.

32. Cleveland – 35-60 – They’ve really gotten shitty. One has to suspect if dmurphy has began tanking, because last we checked they were 21-21 and were making improvements as an organization. To go from there, lose 39 out of 53 games, and shit the bed so profusely that you have to wonder if they know what a toilet even is. They are closing in on the Triple Crown of Pitching Failure, as they have the worst ERA, the worst WHIP, and are right there as the worst OAV. The pitching staff isn’t bad enough to warrant this performance. Also, he owes me money from our fantasy football league. Scumbag.

This is the Season 14 draft. It had been blogged about on this site by someone else at an earlier point, so I figured it was a fair enough place to start and highlight where these guys are at now.

1. Milwaukee, under the previous owner mikesons and stationed in Minnesota, took Sam Swindell first overall. Where is he now? On my roster. He took $4,000,000 to sign as a 19 year old. His low stamina kept him stationed as an elite closer in the minor leagues until he made his pro debut last season. How’d he do? Co-Rookie of the Year, bitches. The control and splits are still awesome, and as long as he’s managed properly he’ll put up nice numbers.
2. Tpete took Kyle Leary with the second pick of this draft. What has he done since then? He plowed through the minor leagues and made his major league debut last season, when he became the ace pitcher on the World Series champions.  His ERA/OAV/WHIP don’t look as pretty as they should, but he’s been a quality pitcher and has a ring to show for it. He won four games during the Milwaukee playoff run last season.
3. Patrickm took Randy Pote with the third pick. Compared to the first two, he’s not been that awesome. But he did make the NL All-Star team last season as a rookie last season. He’s been traded twice so far in his career, but he seems to be quite happy in Mexico City with cbriese.
4. It’s looking like this was a nice draft for pitchers. With the fourth pick, golfteach took Harry Lewis. Lewis made his Major League debut last season in St. Louis and wound up winning 16 games and taking home the NL Rookie of the Year. He’s the foundation of the St. Louis rotation, and a still-improving player.
5. Our next player off the board was the first hitter in the draft. Robin Leonard was part of a blockbuster trade in Season 17 that sent him from Cincinnati to Salem, and he wound up being an instrumental part of their World Series run. Leonard deserved postseason MVP consideration when he put up a ridiculous 1.296 OPS on Salem’s title-winning run. Since then he’s already put up a 51 home run season and an All-Star appearance.
6. Matty Duran went off the board next as a lower-control pitcher who offered high peripherals in every other regard. He’s still playing in Albuquerque, and a career 3.48 ERA indicates he’s doing pretty well.
7. Bill Fornataro was picked out of college by Milwaukee, which is now Minnesota, and was traded to Minnesota, which is now Toledo. Already a Gold Glove winner at the ML level, Fornataro is in the middle of a career year that is helping the Tapefaces push for a bye in the American League. His .323 average places him in the league leaders.
8. Blackmink picked Jamie Green, a college catcher, and he decided he’d just rather not sign. I don’t blame him. But considering the talent in this draft, it’ll seem like mink is awfully retarded.
9. Trading card magnate, Don Russ, went ninth overall to kbjone’s Vancouver squad. Since that point, he’s been traded to Norfolk, where he’s been serving as the team’s primary set-up man this season. His stats haven’t been bad, and his ratings suggest he can thrive in this role.

10.  Tracyr selected Al Adams as the Centerfielder of his future. He was one of the first players in the Major Leagues drafted in this class, and has produced adequately. He hit for 29 home runs in his first full season, last year.

11.  Philadelphia selected LHP Ajax Hogan, and wound up acquiring a very solid arm. Hogan is still developing and has had to get over more injuries than his health rating would indicate, but he’s grown into a solid pitcher in one of the National League’s best rotations. His stats aren’t showing his ability at this juncture, but he will be an instrumental part of any playoff push that Philadelphia were to make.

12.  When I had said with this most recent draft that bret’s pitcher was better than ones he had taken in previous drafts much higher, you can hastily throw Ringo O’Neill into that group. He does have his merits, however. He won a Gold Glove as the American League’s best defensive pitcher last season. After making a jump from AA to the Majors last season, O’Neill wound up pitching 199 innings, and going 9-8 with a 3.84 ERA. That’s Stan Rhodes numbers if you consider he was pitching for bret. Yet somehow this season he’s regressed horribly and has been demoted to Long Relief duty.

13.  With jwelsh’s second pick of this draft, he selected Rafael Oliva. Oliva never had the range to stick at shortstop, but he’s made his debut in right field in Philadelphia this season. He’s held his own by hitting .274 and having stolen 11 bases so far this season.

14.   I remember when mbriese selected Kirt Garcia, people seemed to think he was worth the risk. Like if he signed he’d be right up there with any of the other top players that came out of this class. I really wish HBD let you see a player’s profile after he chooses not to sign. Regardless, he shot mbriese down.

15.  Alcheez took switch-hitting first baseman Philip May. He made his ML debut last season and hit .333 and finished somewhere on the NL Rookie of the Year ballot. For some reason you can’t see voting results other than the top vote-getter once you’re beyond that season.

16.  Dover selected utility player Kent Sheldon, despite injury concerns, and have been using him semi-frequently as a third baseman. His ML numbers are underwhelming at .240/.316/.402, but they should improve with more playing time. It just doesn’t appear his defense will ever reach the projected levels that would have had him near a Gold Glove level.

17.  Cleveland selected high-contact Ed Wagner out of college. His range never developed enough to adequately play centerfield, but some of the blame could be the fact that he’s been sitting in AA every season since Season 15. Could be our first draft choice from this class to retire if he continues to stagnate.

18.  Dherz drafted Harry Valenzuela out of college to serve as a potential closer of the future. He wound up getting traded to Boise in Season 17, and he’s been an effective set-up pitcher at the Major League level this year.

19.  When stu was able to get pitcher Matty Villafuerte this late in the draft, it seemed to be consensus opinion to be a steal. Villafuerte doesn’t have ideal health, but it was enough where he can be relied upon as a starting pitcher. Unfortunately, a brutal arm injury set him back greatly in season 18 and his progress was cut off. His projections seemed Cy Young caliber when he came out, but now he’s settled into a middle-of-the-rotation pitcher. Still 23, it’s not inconceivable that he improve some more, but it’s still a tale of wasted potential already. His ML career numbers of 3.36 ERA, .231 OAV, and 1.22 WHIP indicate that he’ll be productive for the bulk of his career. Just not what he could have been.

20.  The Danzas selected Morgan Haney later in the draft, and wound up centering their rebuilding project around him. With good splits and high speed, Haney’s Major League debut this season has been a bright spot on a dark season. Of course, all that speed with that bad of baserunning is going to get him caught an awful lot. Going 1 for 8 in the Majors this year is pretty terrible…

21.  When Montreal drafted Wilfredo Mercado, they acquired a potentially elite closer. Mercado’s development was slow after being promoted quickly and traded twice, but it’s picked up greatly the past few seasons where his splits and peripherals indicate he has the potential to be a reliable, if not All-Star caliber, closer.

22.  Montgomery drafted Reggie Walker and he wound up signing late in the season, but proceeded to develop quickly. His high make-up got him promoted relatively quickly through the minor leagues. He has the jawline of a Bruce Campbell. He wound up being an integral part of a blockbuster trade which sent him to Scottsdale. So far in the Majors, he’s been hitting a .267/.332/.454 line and getting caught stealing near two-thirds the time. Will be a large part of Scottsdale’s most recent rebuilding project.

23.  San Diego drafted Randall Young despite him not fitting the usual model of tisi’s Chicken Fukkar. He wound up being part of a significant trade that relocated him to Montgomery, where he’s proceeded to develop into a premier power hitter and AL Co-Rookie of the Year with teammate Sam Swindell. He’s flashed an ability to hit for a .300 average and hit 40+ home runs a season, and will be a core player in Montgomery for a while.

24.  Philadelphia’s third pick of the first round was LHP Marshall Sanders, who was eventually sent to Texas via trade. Despite being 27 years old, he has yet to make his Major League debut. He does, however, have more ability than the sort of pitchers vandydave tends to post on the league chat around the time of arbitration hearings.

25.  Salem selected DH Tanner Miller as a future replacement for Hootie Stewart. He never could play a position in the field with any skill, but he could be a designated hitter and had the contact, power, splits, and eye to be a dominant bat. His first taste of the Majors was during Salem’s run towards the World Series where he managed to drive in 10 runs in 12 games. While his durability, health, and fat face prohibit from playing as many games as an owner would like, he’s proven to be a great value. After an offseason trade to Montgomery, he’s putting up career numbers with a .323/.404/.677 line where he’s hitting a home run every ten at bats.

26.  San Diego’s second pick of the first round was elite defensive shortstop Tony Lawrence. While his glove and arm accuracy are still developing, he’s getting his first taste of the ML this season. While his bat has been cold (.180 average),  his defense has been strong. He’s valued as one of the more important young players in tisi’s organization.

27.  Acecards broke from an organizational staple of picking players with speed when San Francisco selected Galahad Fowler and his powerful bat in the first round. He’s particularly adept against right-handed pitchers, so he’s been mostly involved with a platoon now that he’s making his Major League debut.

28.  Detroit drafted Bob Schmidt due to his high splits, good power, and projectable arm for RF. But Schmidt has never stayed in one place for long, as he’s been traded four times in five seasons. He currently calls Minnesota’s AAA affiliate home. A recent injury has derailed his progress a bit, but his high patience and make-up has him still improving.

29.  Scottsdale selected Emmanuel Figureoa, but traded him to Montgomery in the next offseason. Since that point, Figureoa won many accolades across the minor league level and wound up making his first appearance in the Major Leagues last season. He has plus-power, and is starting to flourish in a powerful Montgomery lineup, which if you haven’t noticed has a lot of these first round picks playing for them. Figureoa has a .291/.351/.515 line going this season.

30.  Spacecoyote selected Alex Woo, who overcame an early career shoulder surgery, to develop into a versatile player. He was traded to Salem in Season 18, and been a large part of that team. He does a really good impression of Leslie Chow from The Hangover when he runs around naked in the lockerroom.

31.  Mexico City wound up drafting Bing Sutton, and he fits their mold of plus-defense players. While his arm accuracy has never fully matured, his other defensive ratings have him at Gold Glove caliber at a few positions. That’s not good enough for cbriese, so he traded him to Albuquerque. Even though his splits are skewed towards hitting left-handed pitchers, he’s had a very successful season this year with a .286/.333/.508 batting line.

32.  Vandydave selected Johnny Dipoto as a powerful catcher. His plus-power and good eye helped him tear through the minor leagues, which showcased him before he was eventually traded to Colorado. His power plays well at Coors Field, as he possesses a career .864 OPS in the ML.

33.  With the last pick before the sandwich picks, San Antonio selected pitcher Phillip Friend. While not having the health one normally looks for in a pitcher, Friend possessed good peripheral stats. He was promptly to Norfolk where he’s done all his developing. He saw his first action last year when he threw for 153.2 innings and went 6-13. This season hasn’t been much better, but he has the potential to be an above average SP5 for stu.
So what can we take out of this draft? Other than that I’m awesome at trades?

First of all, this was an incredibly deep draft. Some of the guys going in the 20’s wouldn’t have made it out of the top ten this season. But it also highlights that talent can be acquired at any point in the draft. And that blackmink is awful.

There are many players who are already making huge Major League impacts drafted outside of the first round, I’m just too lazy to go through them all.

It’s going to take several seasons before we really see who did well with this draft, but that doesn’t mean I can’t go through the first round and nitpick.

Let’s see if your franchise managed to hold up to scrutiny.

1.      New York Danzas – LHP Kurt Newman – Based on conversations I had with topoftheworl, this was about the best he was getting with the rather small amateur scouting budget in New York. Not the flashiest pick, and definitely not a franchise-altering player, but there have been worse top picks. He’s a relatively safe middle-of-the-rotation pitcher. Though, there had to be some thought in NY to bump a “Probably Won’t Sign” prospect up to the top of the board, knowing that he’d turn down the contract, and being content with the second pick next year when they can better allocate money towards the draft…

2.      Memphis Blues – RHP Larry Brennaman – There’s a good chance that he emerges as the top pitcher to come out of this draft, depending on your opinion of pitch ratings. The control and splits indicate an ace-quality pitcher, but the precipitous drop-off from a plus fastball to mediocre to bad auxiliary pitchers makes you wonder if he’ll need to work in battery with a high pitch-calling catcher for most his career. But his core ratings indicate that he’s worth the $3.9M signing bonus.

3.      Hartford Dark Blues – LHP Fred Karnuth – If it weren’t for the signing risk, there’s a chance that Karnuth could have surpassed Brennaman as the top projected pitcher from this class. With a higher stamina, control, vs. L, and an arsenal of plus pitches, Karnuth has the ability to fare well. However, he’s still considering playing college baseball and is asking for $6.320M off the bat from Hartford, with the chance that he’ll ask for even more down the line. Still, it’ll probably be cheaper than a comparable pitcher on the International market.

4.      Fargo Eh – LHP Lawrence Ball – Moving away from blackmink’s usual habit of drafting health risks, he decides to instead pick a signing risk. Ball is considering professional basketball, but if he chooses to stick with baseball could find himself with a solid career as a SP3. Coming into the draft as a 21 year old, he still has a lot of room to improve to hit his projections, but he does carry the patience and make-up to come close to those goals.

5.      Cleveland Aboriginii – SS Vin White – The top overall projected rating in this draft, without really being that good in any one facet. Probably won’t have the range to stick at shortstop. Neither a contact nor a power hitter, with okay splits and eye. He’s extremely durable and very speedy. He won’t be the impact player his overall rating suggests, but he’ll be a starter for most his career.

6.      Albuquerque No Names – C Torey Tapies – I’m doing winepimp a service by listing him as a catcher. Honestly, he has the arm to play the position, but he just doesn’t have much pitch-calling ability. He could conceivably split time between DH and catcher and get his at-bats that way. And really, the only thing that matters with Tapies is the at-bats. He’s one of the better pure hitters in this draft. Highly durable, with good splits and plus-power. Hitting from the Isotopes ballpark, he should have pretty awesome career numbers. Seems high for the kind of guy we’ll see later on in the draft, but winepimp needed a middle-of-the-order bat for his future.

7.      Boise Mays – 3B Vincente Pulido – He won’t ever have the range for shortstop, but he’ll be able to play at the hot corner. His splits are each projected to be 80+, and his glove and arm could be gold glove caliber at third base later in his career.

8.      Buffalo I’m stopping with the team nicknames at this point because I don’t know all of them and it’s a hassle to doublecheck the retarded things other people think are clever – 2B Herb Richard – The first of several early picks owned by tracyr. Capable of playing 2B or CF defensively, with good speed and great durability. His best trait might actually be his batting eye, but his bat is adequate enough to be a significant player in a lineup.

9.      Montreal – RHP Kendry Colome – Very skewed splits, but will be pretty effective against right-handed batters. Upside probably tops out at SP3.

10.  New York (NL) – RHP Benji Duran – Future short-relief pitcher. Has the control and splits to be a high level closer, but also lacks a second pitch. Durability and health suggest that he might not be able to pitch as frequently as the closer position can necessitate.

11.  Texas – LHP Luis Lind – Possesses a three inch overbite. His face from the side looks like that Spy vs. Spy cartoon. As such, he possesses a formidable drool ball. His control projects favorably, his splits will top out in the low 60’s if he reaches expectations.

12.  Buffalo – RHP Rick Romanski – Here’s a great idea: Take an injury-prone 18 you just drafted and throw him right into Hi-A. That won’t backfire. He has the potential to be pretty good if he stays healthy, as his control, splits, and pitches all indicate a strong upside. But Buffalo has other plans for him.

13.  Scottsdale – RF Dick Meadows – Fregoe only picked him because it sounds like somewhere he’d like to visit. But other than that, Dick has a very low contact rating that he hopes to cancel out with his very strong batting eye.

14.  Philadelphia – LHP Lawrence Hunter – Better than his overall rating suggests, Hunter will hold back-of-the-rotation value. Should reunite with his cousin Shawn who lives just outside Philadelphia, as long as Shawn’s BFF Corey doesn’t get too jealous of their friendship.

15.  Cincinnati – RHP Clyde Moore – Nellie was looking to avoid a signing risk, and the signing bonus being commanded might be too much. But Moore is a solid pitcher. His control, vs. RH, and two plus pitches indicate that he has the potential to be worth the contract he’s asking for. It’s just an issue of Nellie finding the room under the budget.

16.  Norfolk – LHP Javy Sanchez – Very low durability, which could restrict him from playing as often as stu would like. His pitching skill commands playing time, however. With strong control, splits, and pitches, Sanchez has the ability to be a top level pitcher if he could ever be relied upon. He just isn’t durable enough to pitch every fifth day, and doesn’t have the stamina to throw many pitches when he does start.

17.  Toledo – RF Phil Wilson – I can’t see this prospect. I’ll assume it’s because he has spent his adolescent life in a mental institution with a lesbian-haired Angelina Jolie.

18.  Honolulu – 1B Al Mateo – One of the steals of the draft. A legitimate power thread from the left side of the plate, he should produce many seasons of 40+ home runs.

19.  Louisville – RHP Jorge Vincente – Might be the best starting pitcher that bret has ever drafted in this world, and he happened to do it with a pick substantially later than he’s usually picking from. He has good control, good splits, great pitches. His weakness is his low health rating. Bret very much needs Vincente to stay healthy.

20.  Mexico City – RHP Glen Killefer – Low splits, but a solid groundball pitcher that will benefit from the top defense in the league.

21.  Detroit – 1B Napoleon Jones – Very good value for a highly regarded power bat. The question is whether his glove is good enough to play in the NL.

22.  Scranton – RHP Jack Gutierrez – Solid relief pitcher. Potential to close down the line. Good control, good splits, and a durability/health rating that’ll allow him to play as often as possible.

23.  Kansas City – C Peter Fox – A pick that rlahann considers the top value in the draft, Fox is probably below average defensively as a catcher, but has phenomenal splits and batting eye. His contact and power are high, and he has the potential to be an all-star caliber bat from the middle of the order.

24.  Minnesota – CF Wally Miller – Could also play second base, projects to have an above average glove and range for either position. His bat, however, is merely average. He yells at the screen when watching Dora the Explorer, and doesn’t have children. He just likes TV shows that encourage him to interact. Sometimes he just screams letters at people on TV when he’s watching the Price is Right.

25.  Dover – 3B Josh Ruebel – Probably going to wind up in RF or something. He’s really trying hard to grow a beard so the veteran players in Dover don’t make fun of him for being the rookie. But his face looks like Rob Tracy’s sweaty back.

26.  Salem – C Matty Neruda – Doesn’t really play well enough defensively to be a reliable catcher, and he has nothing on Jizz Bomber. His vL split and batting eye are very strong, but otherwise will probably be lost somewhere in moy’s system.

27.  San Diego – RHP Peter Balfour – Tisi drafted a few decent relievers this season, and Balfour is one of them. One of many San Diego relief prospects. So I’m just going to forget who he is because there are like five more just like him.

28.  Montgomery – LHP Ronald Acker – Solid enough pitching prospect who is more of a case study in what a 100 projected range would affect a pitcher. His control is very strong, as are his pitches. The splits will hopefully reach the low 60’s. But he’s the first of a pretty strong Montgomery draft.

29.  Montreal – 3B Buck Stanley – Not good enough to actually play shortstop. Doesn’t really do much beyond not get hurt, but he’ll probably have some value in a depleted system.

30.  Detroit – RHP Russ Dobbs – robusk might not be able to get this guy signed, but he’s a back of the rotation pitcher. Two plus pitches, great control, and the potential for good splits. Is one of the few people who goes out of their way to read antonsirius’s movie reviews.

31.  Buffalo – 3B Harold Rolle – Definitely not a shortstop defensively. Potential signing risk, but might be worth the compensatory pick next season if he does shoot Buffalo down. Nothing really interesting about him as a prospect.

32.  San Francisco – LHP Cal Bukvich – Does anyone read these previews for players that they didn’t draft themselves? I wonder if it’s a waste. Hey Ace. How’s it going? Surprised this wasn’t some guy with 90+ baserunning. Or is it? I seriously did just double-check. That’d be pretty fast for a relief pitcher. But this guy is decent. Good control, the durability/health/stamina to be relied on frequently, and a couple good pitches.

33.  San Antonio – RHP Tom Bruce – Might not sign. A very high stamina considering his health and durability will allow him to pitch frequently. Probably exploitable in a tandem, but his splits really don’t really look great. He has two phenomenal 90+ projected pitches, so there could be some value in him. If he signs.

34.  Fargo – RHP Lonnie Thompson – It’s like moy purposely targeted players with higher health and durability, just to spite robusk. Thompson is elite as far as he can pitch a few innings in nearly every game. But his low splits and the fact his stamina might not improve enough mean that he might just be a mediocre pitcher who can just happen to pitch all the damn time.

35.  San Antonio – LHP Aubrey Strickland – Very good relief pitcher prospect. Has a weird first name. You wonder if his parents were hoping he was a girl, but just kind of got confused between a b and a d. I remember when I was four that was a sticking point. Maybe his parents are four year olds.

That’s the end of the first round. I’m not doing the compensatory picks because you jerks aren’t worth it.

Looking over the rest of the draft, it’s clear that the teams with the higher amateur scouting budgets had a distinct advantage. Even if moy doesn’t think anyone worthwhile goes at this point in the draft, I can see several. I’m just too lazy to name them.

1. San Antonio (rlahann) – 31-11 – Best record in the league in arguably the toughest division in the league. A remarkable 8-0 record in extra inning games. Not to mention an unreal 139 runs allowed, which tops both leagues.

2. Toledo (calvinhydro) – 30-12 – Second best record, with an impressive 9-1 division mark. After years of stockpiling talent, Toledo has moved quickly to pounce on the opportunity. League leaders in runs scored.

3. Salem (moy23) – 27-15 - Gave them the edge for the third spot after taking two of three in a series against San Antonio this weekend. Due for a spell of retardation.

4. Dover (tylermathias) – 27-15 – National League’s best record. Playing beyond the limits of mediocrity. Might backslide once TM is unemployed and decides to spend more time paying attention to the team.

5. Mexico City (cbriese) – 25-17 – The focus on defense and pitching has this team poised for another playoff season. Playing below Expected Winning Percentage, so there is improvement to be had for this team. Will probably finish with the least runs allowed in the league.

6. Detroit (robusk) – 24-18 – Winning the division despite a difficulty scoring runs. It will be interesting to see how they perform when robusk abandons them to gallavant around Europe.

7. Philadelphia (jwelsh) – 22-20 – Probably ranked too highly, but they’re severely outperforming this record. They’ve lost 12 games by one run. That shouldn’t happen with one of the best closers in the league on their roster. The expected winning percentage and improved late-game performance should have them as a frontrunner for a National League playoff spot.

8. Montgomer (r0b0t) – 24-18 – Should be playing better. An unreasonable amount of solo home runs highlights a need for OBP improvement.

9. Colorado (jstnklly) – 24-18 – Reigning NL West champions were slow out of the gate, but have been pushing moy for the division title as the season has worn on. Willie Simpson continues to play at an MVP level.

10. San Francisco (acecards) – 22-20 – This is where it gets tough, as there is a very large contingent of teams hovering around .500. However San Francisco has the framework to bust out of a minislump and improve significantly.

11. Memphis (patrickm) – 23-19 – Performing above expectations. Ranked this highly based on current success, though I foresee a precipitous dropoff in their future.

12. Honolulu (spacecoyote) – 22-20 – Tied atop the NL West despite preseason roster clearance sale. In a season in which they were not expected to contend, even by their owner, they have performed admirably and have an Expected Winning percentage that says they should be doing even better.

13. Montreal (gin) – 21-21 – Seems to be reinvigorating the franchise. There’s some motivation to this season for gin, probably out of spite. In fact, Cliff Santurria has been seen shooting crows with a potato gun. Perhaps in an attempt to feed someone crow later on.

14. Scranton (alcheez) – 21-21 – Good team. It’s too bad alcheez doesn’t have a functioning scrotum. He was in a good position to upgrade this team in the offseason and didn’t really do much. Probably still a virgin.

15. Cleveland (dmurphy) – 21-21 – Talented minor league system that’s slowly being brought up to the majors. Has improved with each week of the season, which either indicates that young players are blossoming or dmurphy being too consumed with his next child has let the SIM take more control over the franchise and undo his fuckery.

16. Kansas City (babypop) – 21-21 – Despite talented roster, having difficulty scoring runs. Pitching hasn’t been the weakspot as I had anticipated. If the hitting improves and the pitching maintains, they’ll make a run. But it’s probably a retarded see-saw in Kansas City.

17. San Diego (tisi) – 21-21 – Better than this. Played in an astonishing 20 one run games, and is 10-10 in those. A paltry 139 runs scored this season shows this team needs to make some strides offensively if they hope to really contend for their division.

18. Minnesota (Hawk27) – 21-21 – Staying close enough to Detroit to make a serious push if robusk stumbles.

19. Norfolk (stu) – 19-23 - Their early season run is in the distant past. Their team was buoyed by a devastating series sweep over the DANZAS to open the year, including a game in which they hung up 40+ runs. Perhaps rounding the bases that often in the first series wore this team out, as they haven’t performed as well since that point.

20. Milwaukee (mrfortune) – 19-23 – Reigning World Series champions are in the cellar of their division. The talent is there to redeem themselves, as they’re a better squad than last year. But they are in an improving division so expectations might have to be tempered.

21. Texas (vandydave) – 19-23 – Putting up a lot of runs, as usual, but allowing them just as often. Allowing a lot of runs for a team that was hoping to contend.

22. St. Louis ( traxman) – 19-23- Very talented team that’s slowly overcoming tlak abandoning them to start the season. Doing an adequate job getting the pitching staff in order, and the l ineup appears to be gaining steam.

23. Cincinnati (nellie) – 19-23 -  Allowing the most runs in the National League. The defense and pitching will have to be improved if Nellie hopes to make an in-season push.

24. Boise (urdanick) – 18-24 – Once again, another NL team that’s giving up a lot of runs. The pitching staff is weak, but the bats should be good enough to push this team closer to .500 as the year progresses.

25. Albuquerque (winepimp) – 19-23 – The move to a hitter’s park has done more for the opposing team’s batters than it has for the No Name’s. However, the prospects in the system seem to be showing some improvement and could help this team out sooner than expected.

26. Buffalo (tracyr) – 17-25 – This team broke Rob’s heart. Literally.

27. Scottsdale (Fregoe) – 18-24 – In the process of actively selling off all their Major League assets. The forecast doesn’t look very good for this team improving much this season.

28. Fargo (blackmink) – 18-24 – As robusk documented, blackmink is a little retarded. This team is injury-prone and not capable of handling those injuries. The team is error prone but not good enough to make up for those errors. Just a mess.

29. Hartford (mbriese) – 16-26 – I thought he was trying to get some apprenticeship in the robusk/rlahann school of team management? I guess he failed following his father’s style, and is trying someone else’s, and is failing too. Should not be this bad.

30. New York DANZAS (topoftheworl) – 16-26 – It’s impressive they’re even this high. This lineup was devastated coming out of spring training, and it took some work to get them competitive at the ML level. I’m actually pleasantly surprised they’re doing so well. They’re only 3 games back from their division lead. PLUS, they just pulled off a pretty nice trade to improve their team both short-term and long-term. They had tons of money sitting around that they’ve taken to bringing in a bad contract in return for a top prospect. Should pay off.

31. New York Bowie Mafia (dherz) – 15-27 – Just how many seasons is it permissable to say someone is rebuilding? When can we just say they suck?

32. Louisville (bret) – 13-29 – This is what happens when bret gets cocky. He finally thinks his team has a playoff shot, and they shit the bed en masse. Lowest runs scored total in the AL, second most runs given up. And it’s only second-most because New York gave up like 90 runs in one series.

So, let’s look at the Fargo Eh (that name sucks).

Career record:

904-1202 (.429)

Career record v. robusk:

43-74 (.368)

1^st Round Picks in Last Five Seasons:

S14, Pick #8: Jaime Green, C – Never signed

S15, Pick #9: Joe Craddock, P – Mediocre splits, can’t throw many innings, no dominant pitches, average control, promoted properly

S15, Pick #20: Harvey McMilan, P – Never signed

S15, Pick #37: Lance James, P – DUR of 5, crappy control, crappy pitchers, average splits, still in AAA

S16, Pick #19: Morgan Decker, P – Yet another guy who can’t throw many innings and would need an owner who could micromanage a staff, poor health, strong ratings otherwise, put in AAA when he was 19 years old and has been left there for three seasons but the impact of this is debatable

S17, Pick #11: Harley Dransfeldt, CF – Will never be able to play CF or 2B at a high level, probably a LF or RF.  Pretty decent bat with power and batting eye

S18, Pick #27: Kazuhiro Masato, P – Really an awful pick.  AAAA pitcher.  Nothing to like about this guy.  Also below average health.

S18, Pick #58: Patrick Glover, P – Seems at least decent but probably not much better.  Average ratings across the board projection wise, but since he is already 23 I don’t suspect he gets as close to the projections.  Probably a Setup B type on an average to below average team.

Draft Recap – 8 first round picks in 5 seasons.  Two guys who never signed, 2 guys who can definitely play in the bigs, a guy who could possibly contribute, 3 indefensible selections.  Never had less than 15 million allocated to both HS and College scouting and averaged over 17 million each during that time.

Budgeting:

Last five seasons have had him at 14 for training and medical each season except for the one time he went to 15 for each; awesome for a guy who loves players with low health ratings.  Also continues to budget low dollars to coaching even though he regularly has high draft picks that need development.  He likes to stay in no man’s land in prospect budgeting, continuing to allocate 9-13 million a year in prospect money even though he doesn’t put any money towards international scouts.  He has then transferred money from this pool at a 50% loss to player budget every season has owned this team except for one.

Trade History:

Only three trades the last five seasons, none of them amounted to much.

Free Agency:

Likes signing old players on deals of 1-4 seasons, although in his defense, usually to contracts that get cheaper as they go along.  Also, for some unknown reason, he signs a crap load of guys who can throw limited innings and players with poor health.  Shockingly, his team underachieved last season because his pitching staff was fatigued and people got injured.  I can’t figure out why.  Pretty sure he never signs Type A players or splurges on a big name, which is good because since he is so awesome at drafting and getting quality coaches, he needs to focus on developing prospects.

Breakdown:

Blackmink doesn’t know how to draft.  When he needs talent for his team, he is content drafting guys that will never play for his team so he can transfer the money to his payroll and sign another 36 year old pitcher with a DUR of 2.  He likes leading the league in players on the disabled list.  He neither improves his team through free agency or the draft.  He likes pitchers who need to be micromanaged so he can go ahead and not micromanage them.  He likes to piss away money.  He doesn’t like it when people reach their projections.  Best thing you can say about him is that he doesn’t get trade raped too frequently.  Also, he lives in the middle of nowhere and news travels to him 10 times slower than to the rest of us.  I think he is on a 56k modem.  I am pretty sure I have never replied to a blackmink post.  He made the playoffs once in 13 seasons.  He votes for the same players as moy on Hall of Fame ballots.  Pretty sure he sucks at life.  Oh yeah, and before his rectum got worn out, he traded one of the best RPs of all time for a RF who couldn’t hit and an SP with a career ERA of nearly 5.

That’s a total of 121 votes cast. So it’s a given that some teams didn’t use all five votes that they could have. With 32 teams, there’s a potential for 160 votes. By my guess, that means 5-7 teams just neglected voting entirely.

That’s not even to mention the fact that some bizarre choices wound up with one vote apiece. I had Calvin Wayne, and I don’t see who could have possibly voted for him there.

Now that Velandia is in, the next group that could possibly get in features Grieve, Baez, Harper, and Pride.

Franco, Romero, and Bates all had fairly large contingents supporting them publicly before the draft, though the numbers don’t really show that.

Feel free to share your thoughts on the results.

Despite numerous attempts at contact, hugenuge has been missing in action. His one appearance was to express surprise the league was already a week or so in. To my knowledge, he did not sign on after that.

I’m going to give it one last attempt to get him back, and then I’ll just solicit for a replacement.

In the meantime, his team was transferred to hopecorrupts, which I’m sure all of you are aware is a joint alias in which several of us have access.

New York only had 12 players on the ML Roster, and lost its second game of the season by allowing 48 runs… They needed an immediate intervention.

As such, free agents were signed for all levels of the franchise. The minor leagues were filled up to ensure that no prospect gets an avoidable injury.  The majors were filled with available ML FA talent.

I purposely did not sign any Type A Free Agents. I am also of the spirit that until a long term owner is found, there won’t be any trades involving that organization. Because of the potential for collusion, I will do everything possible to maintain an unbiased franchise until an owner is found.

If you have any owners you would recommend to take over this team, please send a trade chat to r0b0t.

I will be the first to admit, that as an American League team, I don’t honestly pay much attention to National League teams. So in order to have some help reviewing teams, I’ve asked robusk to contribute a small passage on each organization.

Detroit Minorities

Last Season: 94-68. Division Title. NL Champions. Lost in World Series.

Changes: robusk made 12 Free Agent signings. I’m not going to take the time breaking down each guy, but they’re all pretty much veteran stopgaps and relative bargains. He didn’t overpay and he didn’t receive top-tier talent. He did however fill out his ML roster with some pretty good players.

Robusk’s Opinion: This should be another down year for my team. Of course, last year was supposed to be a down year but I still somehow almost won the championship. The league must have been having a down year, because even with my immense HBD genius, that team had no business going as far as it did. Granted, I am smarter than all of you, and I eat healthier, but that shouldn’t have gotten last year’s team into the World Series. I figure I’ll just use last year’s formula to see if a team of cast-offs can will me through a weak division.

Projection: Should win the division. Robusk is a good enough talent evaluator that his bulk FA binge should get him enough talent to make it through his division with near 90 wins. From there, the playoffs are pretty random.

Cincinnati Riot

Last Season: 81-81

Changes: Nellie signed five pitchers, all with middle to back of the rotation ability. He promoted top prospect Wesley Blair all the way to the Major Leagues to help provide some pop in the lineup.

Robusk: Nellie has a few good players in his organization. I think he might have rushed Blair by a season and a quarter. That would have been a nice 20 games-in promotion to save an arbitration season. Stupid. The top prospects in his organization are overrated. They don’t have the splits or defense that I think will make them top notch. I’d probably offer my SP5 for one of them straight-up, but I don’t think they’re worth much more.

Projection: Once again, hovering around .500. However, Nellie has done a good job acquiring some great young talent. With players like Blair, Alvarez, Franco, and Guttierez developing in the minors, the organization is on the upswing. They’re just a season or two away.

Minnesota Short Grass

Last Season: 87-75. Wild Card.

Changes: Between Free Agency and the Rule V draft, Minnesota made decent strides at improving their back of the rotation and their bullpen. They lost 15 game winner Valerio Delgado, but appear to have done a solid job replacing him in the rotation.

Robusk: I spent a few weeks in Minnesota before, and that state is shit. There’s some decent nature and stuff for my hiking, but I could not find anywhere to buy pot for the life of me.

Projection: Looks to be a better team this season than they were last season, so there is a decent opportunity to return to the playoffs. It’s just an issue of the improvements made amongst other teams in the NL and whether under 90 wins will still be good enough for a Wild Card.

Fargo Eh

Last Season: 66-96

Changes: The most significant change is the devastating injury to star pitcher, Rusty Dresden. Other than that, Blackmink had his usual offseason where he signed several ML players who really should be able to contribute if he knew how to use them correctly or wasn’t the death knell for a player’s career.

Robusk: blackmink makes bret look like rlahann. He should be winning this division with that roster, but he’s a mong. Probably because he’s from Minnesota, isn’t he?

Projection: It depends if blackmink is an idiot or an idiot savant. He’s had good seasons before and has more than enough talent to challenge for the division or the Wild Card. But blatant mismanagement and stupidity has cost him in the past, and it seems he’s reserved in just getting high draft picks and building his team up that way.

Dover Johnny Dramas

Last Season: 89-73. Division Champions.

Changes: No real roster changes of note. Dover went out of its way to resign Lyle Purcell. There was a shift in budgeting where money previously allocated towards amateur scouting was now redirected towards advanced scouting, which usually indicates that tylermathias was planning on acquiring some prospects. So perhaps he was preparing for a potential firesale or something. Or he just likes that accurate projection for the hell of it.

Robusk: Why is this team still named after an Entourage character? Does anyone still watch that show? I think liking that show is more likely to get you made fun of nowadays than something gay like Cougartown. You can’t say you’re being ironic with Entourage. Also, TM has a pretty solid team here but it’s nothing to feel threatened by. He should probably win his division but nobody is afraid of tylermathias in the playoffs.

Projection: I’ll agree with robusk here. TM will probably win his division but then shit the bed in the playoffs. And the sun will rise in the East. And moy will campaign for Hootie Stewart. And vandydave and the brieses will argue over something.

Scranton Dundies

Last Season: 86-76

Changes: Their biggest move, perhaps, was trading stalwart CF Damaso Belliard for a package of players. Scranton has cut costs significantly this season, and appears to be on a transition towards acquiring younger talent. Free Agent signings were relatively cost-effective with a concern more towards depth than starting talent.

Robusk: Needs more switch-hitters. The pitching is pretty good, but their lineup is average. They make mine look like a bunch of Woodie Jacobses. God, I love me some Woodie Jacobs.

Projection: Contention for the division has more to do with tylermathias undermining his own talented roster or somehow squandering what looks to be a definitive advantage in the division. If TM stumbles, Scranton should be around that 85 win mark and could squeek into the playoffs.

Philadelphia Phingers

Last Season: 79-83

Changes: Made several solid improvements. Sierra and Kraemer will provide a solid bridge to Brad Leach. Phil Lee will add to the division’s best rotation. Espinosa and Manuel will add some quality bats to jwelsh’s lineup. Promotions of McInerny and Oliva give jwelsh one of the NL’s deepest bench’s, as well.

Robusk: Fuck this guy. He doesn’t seem to respect those of us who have figured this out. He’s too critical of savvy gamesmanship and manipulation of the system because it isn’t realistic enough for him. You know what’s realistic? My smelly hippie pubes on his nose.

Projection: The best threat to Dover for the division, Philadelphia does have a solid and improving lineup. However, it might best serve jwelsh to stray away from what I assume are sim-recommended line-ups. Oliva shouldn’t be playing behind Combs.

New York Tampa Bay Lispy Tranthferth

Last Season: 73-89

Changes: Promoted a couple of guys, claimed a few guys off waivers. The four of them should be mostly providing depth. Hopefully, for dherz’s sake.

Robusk: Biggest mistake in dherz’s life moving to Tampa Bay. I hated it there. Lots of old people and old hang-outs and nothing cool. Bands don’t come to Tampa for shows. Restaurants and bars close at like 9 or something. It’s fine for an old married couple like dherz has turned himself into, but not if he’s cool like me.

Projection: Yeah, that’s a $30 million dollar payroll. And there is more talent in Hi-A than the majors. Dherz isn’t fooling anyone. They’re not playing for this season. They’ll just tread water enough for people to not say they aren’t trying.

Mexico City Quetzlcoatl

Last Season: 84-78

Changes: Traded for Rafael Chavez to provide a stronger bat in a weak-hitting lineup. Signed Todd Throneberry, presumably for some depth.  

Robusk: cbriese and I don’t have the same philosophy, but I think he’s shown that what he’s doing works. He puts a premium on defense and it pays off. He is always leading the league in plus-plays and doesn’t allow many baserunners. I bet his COF are usually near the top in outfield assists, too. You don’t go first to third on him often. He keeps the scoring down and his pitching is solid, and he forces teams to manufacture runs. It’s like his own patented method. I think I’d climax if I had a publicly-lauded method. Nobody recognizes my genius.

Projection: Mexico City will do well. They’ll win enough to be in the division and wild card hunt, mostly for the reasons robusk stated.

St. Louis Kitten Mittons

Last Season: 93-65. Division Champs.

Changes: Signed a few guys, and then forgot to assign them to his ML roster so they quickly became Free Agents. Turned that team around, and promptly abandoned it.

Robusk: I wasn’t around Shtickless when he used to post much, but he seems like a stupid little tool. Am I right? He’s mismanaged one of the league’s best teams. He probably should have done better last season. He’s done nothing this off-season. Like if he had half a brain, I bet he’d have won 100 games last year and my shitty team wouldn’t have been in the World Series.

Projection: It depends on when tlak decides to show up and take care of his team. I’m looking to potentially replace him, as he only has 17 guys on his ML roster. It looks like he just got upset that he missed out on a few free agents and didn’t sign on for Spring Training.

Texas Disease

Last Season: 74-88

Changes: Clearly took last year’s record to heart, and invested quite a bit of money into a good Free Agent class of Matos, Javier, and Valentin.

Robusk: Vandydave is like the one guy you know who doesn’t own a cell phone out of principle. He’s refusing to move forward with his management style and acknowledging the importance of defense, batting eye, and all sorts of other shit, and instead quoting archaic crap that doesn’t really have anything to do with the game. Clearly he cares, but he doesn’t care enough to do it my way. For that he’s wrong. And dumb.

Projection: The solidified lineup and a somewhat weak division mean Vandydave can move himself back into the playoff picture very quickly. With his lineup built around contact and power, he should be able to reach the postseason.

Memphis Blues

Last Season: 58-104

Changes: Spent heavily to acquire Raul Guerrero and play him out of position at shortstop. Received the gem of the Rule V draft in Mark Walcutt. Other than that, no real significant improvements to a pretty bad team from a season ago.

Robusk: He brings his guys along too slowly. I understand not wanting to promote them too soon, but he’ll do one level each year with every player regardless of his ML readiness. Some of his minor leaguers could start for him now. If he played his best players, he probably would win 30 more games this season.

Projection: There is some talent in Memphis. I think they work their way out of the cellar this season, but it just seems like patrickm has no consideration at all for a player’s defensive ability. Rick Speaker isn’t a good enough bat for first base when he has a catcher’s range and glove. Guerrero really should be playing third base. Stuff that isn’t hard to rectify, but belies the fact that he is one of the game’s programmers and should know better.

San Francisco Surf Dogs

Last Season: 98-64. Won NL West. Lost in NLDS.

Changes: Signed a couple of solid pitchers. Promoted a powerful bat in Galahad Fowler, that should complement the speed in the organization nicely.

Robusk: He’s another guy that has his own style. Speed and stolen bases. I know they cut down on the insane stolen base percentage some guys were having, so I can’t imagine how well his team would do before they actualized that. I don’t think he gets the credit he deserves because he had the NL’s best record last year and I don’t know if there is anyone on his roster that people would know by name. But they’re a good team.

Projection: Should be a favorite to win the division, but they will be in a good place to reach the playoffs regardless.

San Diego Chicken Fukkars

Last Season: 87-75. Made playoffs as a Wild Card.

Changes: Signed a few pitchers. Traded for a high contact catcher, T.J. Peters, that should play well in Petco.

Robusk: Tisi is another of the few I respect because he always seems to get the most out of his players. He milks a good pitcher for every possible inning pitched. Micromanages a team well.

Projection: It depends on how many of the players he has in AAA move up at the 20 game mark. San Diego has a lot of talent that is very close to the Majors. It’s really an issue of when they come up. As they are now, San Diego is probably about a .500 ballclub. But there’s potential for more in the minors.

Boise Mays

Last Season: 68-94

Changes: Signed Nicholas White, one of the top catchers on the open market. Acquired Albert Rosales in the Rule V draft. Promoted highly ranked prospect, Julio Sanchez.

Robusk: I jerked off to my girlfriend’s childhood cat. I’m running out of people related to her family to think of.

Projection: Kelly Payne has enough surrounding talent to make a push for the playoffs, but it would be in spite of lackluster pitching. The problems with the rotation will probably keep Boise below .500.

Honolulu Birthers

Last Season: 84-78

Changes: Signed mostly cheap veteran stop-gaps for the ML roster. Traded away Wilfredo Gonzalez for prospects, and he might not be the last veteran to move.

Robusk: I miss Hawaii. It was expensive as shit, but I loved it there. (Ed. Note: He continues about Hawaii for 450 more words. I stopped it here.)

Projection: Openly and unapologetically in rebuilding mode. Well enough ran that they won’t just openly tank, but they’re not meant to be competitive this season.

Each team will be listed with highlighted changes, strengths, weaknesses, and prognostication. I will try not to short-change the NL West by getting bored with this process by the time I’m near the end.

Milwaukee Directives

Last Season: 92-70. Division Champs. AL Champs. World Champions. Seriously.

Changes: Milwaukee took last year’s somewhat maligned and flawed champions and made them even stronger, and much more formidable through the middle of the order. Key additions include a trio of cast-offs from the team he beat in the ALCS, Montgomery (Ed. Note – Thanks for the draft picks!). Julian Coleman, specifically, will add some extra pop in this line-up around Fedroff and Kubenka. The other free agent signings are more for depth, with several veterans signed to cheap one-year contracts.

Strengths: This team does have talent. It might not be the juggernaut teams expect out of the AL, but there are a handful of players in their line-up that would start for most teams in the league. There’s also some depth in the minors with guys like Grebek and Tavares a few seasons away. The pitching is built around ace, Che Yamada, who swears by taking Pre-Natal Vitamins. Yeah, they’re meant for women, but he says they make his hair and nails look so good. Opponent batters think those nails digging into the baseball give him an unfair edge, and are hoping the league bans pills meant for pregnant women.

Weaknesses: Despite having a World Series to his name, this team isn’t the most prepared defensively. Brantley doesn’t have the range for shortstop, which he might be asked to play, and playing a left-hander at second base really isn’t the best idea. Also, the bullpen has holes in it. Milwaukee has above average starting pitching, below average relievers. You can outscore this team.

Projection: Division championship and a bye. An uncanny healthy streak and good luck propelled this team to the title, and neither of these seems like a repeatable occurrence. They will do well, but fall short.

Toledo Tapefaces

Last Season: 83-79, Second in Division

Changes: Toledo’s two biggest moves in the offseason involved bringing in high contact bats to a lineup that already possessed some power. Calvinhydro actually acquired both Wilfredo Gonzalez and Wilfredo Lopez because a gypsy psychic told him a Wilfredo will lead him into the playoffs.

Strengths: Major league hitting and minor league pitching. There is significant power in this lineup, and they have a good shot of being in the top five in the league in runs scored, home runs, and OPS. Meanwhile, the organization possesses several top tier pitching prospects.

Weaknesses: Bradley Cooper. Defensively, there might be a few holes in the infield. But the bats in the lineup should more than make up for it. The bullpen, however, will have a tough time keeping games locked down in late innings.

Projection: This team has the talent and the ability to not just contend for their division, but also could go on a similar run as Milwaukee last season. On paper, they look like Colorado from last year who rode a high-scoring lineup to a division title. But the wealth of prospects in this system could also lead to a few in-season trades that could push them over the top.

Montreal Hollowed-Out Exoskeletons

Last Season: 69-93. Paying about $1.2m per loss.

Additions: A lot of stop-gap pitching. Plus Lonny Blanco’s decaying corpse.

Strengths: Payroll and Wiki Armas. Granted, the payroll isn’t always allocated well and Wiki Armas is going to be having to carry the team on his own, but we’ll get to that in the weaknesses.

Weaknesses: This is the guy that won so many championships? It’s like bret spent two dollars of change at the toy machines at his grocery store to get a few handfuls of rings. If you have a top ten pick, why keep spending a lot of money on average-to-above-average pitching when you probably should be going higher than 6/6 in amateur scouting? It’s like gin is keeping a $110m+ payroll just to spite people for thinking he knows what he’s doing. He’s really done himself a disservice by failing more than fregoe in a spelling bee. Now it looks like gin only ever won when his computer knowledge led to an exploitation of a programming glitch. He has one top level hitter, and then he overspent to fill out his lineup with mediocrity. His pitching is a collection of guys that losing teams cut because they didn’t want the salary… Montreal has subpar fielding at most positions. Subpar bats, as well. Maybe this can all be lumped into the concept of “gin not trying”, or at some point we might have to realize that he just isn’t that good.

Projection: Failure. Armas will probably be intentionally walked all season. The pitching really needs gin to micromanage for them to succeed, but it doesn’t appear he’s willing to put the thought into anything.

Cleveland Threeways

Last Season: 67-95

Changes: Promoted Brian May, top prospect and Glee enthusiast. May has awful taste in movies and TV, because he had no clue who Jane Lynch was before she got on that gay singing show. Other than that, though, no real movement in Cleveland.

Strengths: In the Fregoe mold, in a sense not just having sergei touch their teams, but that there are many top ten draft picks in this organization. As such, there is a lot of young talent.

Weaknesses: The talent in a lot of spots might be too young, where dmurphy might be waiting a season or two before promoting some of these guys. In a few seasons, this might be a legitimate challenger for the World Series. For the time being they’re very young with some stopgaps at a few positions, and some young players who are still developing. Also, dmurphy is prone to spells of not checking in on his team for a week or so. As if nobody has ever had both children and whatifsports teams before.

Projection: It depends on how soon dmurphy starts bringing up more of his top prospects. For the time being I think they’re good enough to hover around .500. If he decides to cash in his chips and either play to win this season or move some players to acquire ML talent, he has a shot to contend whenever he so chooses. I just doubt it’s this season.

Norfolk Southern

Last Season: 82-80; won division

Changes: Nothing. Yeah, there was a Rule V pick, but that won’t really be that important. For the time being stu is holding serve, well-aware it’s a terrible division.

Strengths: His crappy division. Some talented young players throughout his organization. Norfolk has done a good job in the IFA market, generally. There is some talent in the majors, and even more in the minors.

Weaknesses: Honestly, it’s not a complete team. The lineup has a few top bats, but also some mediocrity. The pitching has a few nice arms, albeit Villafuerte recovering from injury, but also a weak back-end of the rotation. Boring team.

Projection: They’ll win the division, mostly because it’s the worst division in the league. First round exit to a much better wild card team.

Hartford Dark Blues

Last Season: 61-101

Changes: Made a few trades, one of which led to him being called robusk’s bitchboy. Signed a lot of veterans off the FA market, but none of which really seem that appealing.

Strengths: Defense. Ability to annoy vandydave. Ability to buy friendship from better HBD coaches.

Weaknesses: Flunked out of college. That weirdo who lives on campus for a community college. Lineup lacks in both power and contact. Pitching lacks in control.

Projection: Probably in the 70-75 win range. Will get name-dropped in more complaining posts by other owners than will have players on the AL All-Star roster. Will bring shame to his father.

Buffalo Fat Crazy Whores

Last Season: 76-86

Changes: There were no free agent signings and no trades. The most significant move was the promotion of  Javy Valbuena to the Majors. He’s still quite raw and hadn’t even played a full season in the minors yet, but his off-the-chart power numbers probably motivated tracyr to this expeditious promotion.

Strengths: I guess they have some talent. Guys like Valbuena are on the roster that will put up huge numbers in a short time. Tracyr has used the draft and the IFA market to build a steady stream of ML capable players into his organization, but most of them seem to be niche players. If he can figure out a way to combine them all to best suit their skills, then he could win this division. There’s a good chance this team could sport a good defense with so many not-quite-SS gloves spread around the field.

Weaknesses: The pitching leaves something to be desired. And I’m not sold that the niche players previously mentioned will be used properly. It might take some effort on Rob’s part to make this team work, however there is some groundwork for the future.

Projection: Anywhere from 65-75 wins. Could somehow manage to steal this division if things break his way. The pendulum is swinging upwards with this franchise.

New York DANZAS

Last Season: 50-112

Changes: They got worse? Ugh. Nuge hadn’t logged in for the budgeting and early stages of Free Agency, and then again hasn’t logged in since January 27^th. I just texted him.

Strengths: Budget flexibility. There is $45m under the cap for this franchise. Too bad there is only $4m budgeted towards the IFA market. There are some decent players in the minors, too.

Weaknesses: Talent. Effort. Also, I think you need more than 13 men on your ML roster to be effective.

Projection: It’ll be another long season unless Nuge starts trying again or I get a good replacement owner.

Montgomery Stan Rhodes Memorials

Last Season: 105-57. Best record in the league. Division champs. Lost in the ALCS.

Changes: Julian Coleman went elsewhere. However, Montgomery acquired three All Star caliber players in Morrie Keller, Damaso Belliard, and Tanner Miller. Combined with the trades for Calles, Chavez, and Esposito last year, a lot of the depth in the organization has been traded to create a win-now atmosphere. Veteran free agents Jake Schmidt, Christopher Frey, and Stevie Riley were signed to bolster a strong ML lineup. Onan Chang has usurped Jesus Ayala for the starting shortstop position after a venomous but shitty rap battle was used to determine the starter

Strengths: Power. They’re going to hit the shit out of the ball. Realistically could have 8 or 9 players hit 30 home runs. There will be runs scored in Montgomery. The defense is also very solid, as they seem to have enough range to cover up all the holes in the field. The pitching is improved. Keller has greatly improved the bullpen. While Sal Ross won the Fireman award last season, a lot of that was due to being placed in a favorable position. Keller is perhaps the best closer in the league. Frey and Riley will solidify the rotation, and Sam Swindell continues to deepdick AL pitchers in moderation. His inning-count will be closely monitored as usual.

Weaknesses: Sacrificed organizational depth and positional flexibility for a stronger starting lineup in the playoffs. The same things that helped win the division last year will not win it this season. So cold hitting or injuries could doom this team.

Projection: Anything less than a World Series will be a disappointment.

San Antonio Something About Artificial Sweeteners(?)
Last Season: 102-60. Wild card. Lost in ALDS.

Changes: Not much. Another year older. But none of the usual big ticket free agents. There was a trade, but nothing special was involved.

Strengths: As a team, there is a premium placed on batter’s eye. They’ll draw a lot of walks and see a lot of pitches. San Antonio should get plenty of guys on base, and there is a very good group of pitchers. Really, pitching and defense as a whole is this team’s strength.

Weaknesses: Not as much power as San Antonio traditionally has, but it shouldn’t be too big of a hindrance.

Projection: Playoffs, either as the division champion or a wild card team. But they have more than enough talent to be in the postseason making their usual run.

Kansas City Wok

Last Season: 87-75

Changes: They got older, and the window closed a little further. The only free agent signing was a rapidly aging Cole Ashley, who doesn’t have the range to play at a Gold Glove caliber any longer.

Strengths: The ability to get quality players off the IFA market has helped Kansas City for a number of years. There is a good amount of organizational depth, and the real nucleus of this team is still pretty young. While sluggers like Glen Judd and George Rollins are declining, there is a young group of players ready to challenge for playing time. There are a lot of high contact, good speed players. Should get a lot of doubles and score from first more than your usual team.

Weaknesses: Despite some organizational depth, this team desperately needs catchers. Only two in the entire organization. Either they’re not drafting that position well, or they’re just ignoring it. Hubris regarding pitching. It’s a decent pitching staff, but babypop seems convinced he can work wonders with it. With a lack of trading and free agent signings, this organization does not really bring in players to supplement what they already have. Rather than fixing a flat tire, they seem content to put a little duct tape over the hole and hope it’ll make do.

Projection: Should be in the Wild Card hunt. They seem to be fading in the division, somewhat, but there is still some chance they can make a run with this core.

Louisville Will Break Your Knees

Last Season: 84-78 PROGRESS!!1

Changes: Fuck. I’m getting bored. Bret spent a lot to get Morgan Dorsey. So hopefully having a starting pitcher who isn’t horseshit will get him the half dozen wins or so he needs to get into the playoffs. Also, bret is doing a lot better at this game.

Strengths: Bret is acquiring some decent depth through his organization. I don’t think he’s been raped in nearly a year. He’s acquired some solid talent that should help him get further above .500. He’s just been getting a lot of second tier players, which is good considering he’s used to fourth tier.

Weaknesses: He’s still bret. I wouldn’t be surprised if he messes it up somehow.

Projection: Contending for the final wild card spot. Seriously.

Colorado Rapids

Last Season: 96-66. Division champs. Bye. Lost in ALDS.

Changes: Spent a lot of money in free agency to land Dave Newhan, Jeff Witt, Catfish Bennett, and Willie Maduro.  

Strengths: Lots of power in a hitter’s park. Pitching has skewed more towards groundball pitchers, which is helpful. They play to their homefield well, and can win away as well.

Weaknesses: There are a lot of bad contracts on this team. Some might argue a few of those FA additions might have been overpriced, but when you figure in something like Roosevelt’s albatross of a contract, you have to realize this franchise is going to be a little up to the budget for a little while. The lack of budget towards amateur scouting means they are concerned with winning in the short-term. The bullpen isn’t strong. The pitchers in general seem to have a low control, so they will walk some batters.

 Projection: I think they’re better than last season, but they also out-performed last season. My guess is a similar record but a more difficult playoff opponent.

Salem Slores

Last Season: 89-73

Changes: Made a few trades. Got rid of Keller and Tanner to Montgomery for a decent haul of prospects. No free agent signings, though.

Strengths: There is still a lot of talent in this lineup, albeit talent that was rushed into the majors and runs the risk of serious injury. Plus, moy spent a lot of money to make sure they’re all being coached well. Now has Jizz Bomber. Very strong bullpen and front half of the rotation.

Weaknesses: Admittedly, moy isn’t trying as hard this season. He’s under the assumption this is a rebuilding year. This could change with some early success. He could pull out a blockbuster trade and reshape this franchise. Moy is impetuous like that. There’s always the chance for injury. The defense still has holes in it. moy is moy.

Projection: Contending for both the division and the Wild Card, but with a chance of collapsing into itself like a dying sun.

Albuquerque No Names

Last Season: 67-95

Changes: winepimp signed Ozzie Xiao and acquired Timo Saunders off waivers. Both should help his team, but the most significant move might be the shift from a pitcher’s park to a very friendly hitter’s park.

Strengths: Taking an already powerful team and putting them in a home run friendly ballpark seems like a recipe for some fireworks. There are several candidates for 30+ home runs on this team, and they should be able to hang with anyone in the league in terms of scoring runs.

Weaknesses: The pitching staff appears prone to walking batters, and it might not be a good idea to have men on base in that stadium. The defense is subpar. The younger players are getting rushed to the Majors, a bit, and being asked to contribute relatively quickly. There’s a chance some of their better players won’t fulfill expectations.

Projection: This team can win anywhere from 60 to 80 games, potentially more if there’s an in-season move that fortifies their lineup.

Scottsdale Diet Pill Abusers

Last Season: 78-84

Changes: They signed a bunch of guys, but the lack of a good training budget meant that their veterans are rapidly decaying. This team is becoming an elephant graveyard of sluggers.

Strengths: They still have some pop in their bats. They can still put up runs on anyone.

Weaknesses: They’re all breaking down. Steve Thomas is withering away. Dan Johnson is losing movement in his extremities. Fregoe isn’t totally committed to rebuilding his franchise, either in part to loss aversion or being afraid of tanking allegations again. He should have started selling off guys a few seasons ago, but instead he let them get older and worse, and took on more contracts of players he won’t be able to keep healthy.

Projection: It’d take a lot of luck for this team to stay healthy. Right now, I find it hard to believe that they could win more than 70 games.