Season 31 Available Team Reviews

20 04 2014

Season 31 Available Team Write-ups – also can be found in the Hardball Classified Forums with links to each team:

AL West – 1st pick in the draft is the biggest selling point for this team – it has been in rebuilding mode for a handful of years now, but because of that has accumulated very high draft picks the last couple years such as SS Cervantes and CF Gandarilla.

At the ML level SP Jesus Santiago is ready to either be the staff ace or traded for prospects, SP Ogea and Romo are both in their 20s and should be staff fixtures for years to come as well.

As far as ML hitting goes OF Willie James is only 23 and will be a stud at the plate for years to come.

Solid ML talent, great prospects from the draft plus the first pick in this season’s draft make this AL West franchise a great pick-up.

 

AL East – 11th pick – this team had a poor season 30 but prior to that won 83, 93, 81, and 86 games the past 4 season – so this team has been well cared for.

At the ML level SPs Smith, Martin, Hodges and Romanski are all clearly rotation-worthy, while RP Falk is a stud. Lawrence Smith has 80+ splits as well as a SP.

At the ML level hitting – Stretch Martin is a very strong OF who is only 27, OF Alex Saenz is strong as well. Sam Jones is a great 2b/CF type who is only 26 as well.

In AAA Morton and Descalso are SP prospects who should call-ups soon and Macias is a strong defense hitter who should get called up also.

 

AL North – 12th pick – this team was well maintained with the same owner seasons 16-30. It had 92 and 90 wins in seasons 27 and 28.

At the ML level DH Alexander Service is an enormous bat an entire lineup can be built around. Bruce Wallace is a 2b/OF type who should bat middle of the order.

At the ML level there is no current staff ace but about 5 guys who should all compete for rotation spots including Saenz, Grimsley, Butler, Blackmon and Washington.

At AAA Chad Hayes could be called up today and hit 40+ homers while playing several positions. Brent Dixon is a great 1b/DH in AAA. Max Nieves is a 23y/o RP who is ready for the bigs.

At AA Alexei Mieses could bat middle of the order right now and RP Cayonnes projects strong.

In High A SP Manzanillo is already rated 75 at 21 y/o.

 

NL West 14th pick -

At the ML – William Bukvich is 24 y/o, rated 82 and only getting better – staff ace to build around for years to come. SP Lee is only 26 and SP Byrne is 27. RP Sojo is only 22 and already rated 77. Numerous other young RPs as well who should stay in the bigs for years. This team is ready to pitch now.

At the ML level hitting – Tim Boucher is a 1b/dh who is 80+ in all the 4 major categories, true stud hitter. 27 y/o Eddie Fiorentino is rated 89 and can play a number of positions with a strong bat. Esteban Park is a 22 y/o OF already rated 77.

I’m not even going to look at the minors, I can’t believe how good and strong this team is at the ML level – Id almost trade this team for my team how well it is young and set-up to win.

 

NL North 19th pick – from seasons 9 through 27 this team had a winning record – very strong history.

At the ML level – SP Damion Cheng has 90+ L/R splits. SP Dicky Bong is 27 y/o and a SP2 type. Malone is worthy of the SP3. This team basically is ready to pitch when you add in SP Urbina. Two strong RPs as well in Soriano and Dawkins. RP Hujimoto (for some reason at High A) is an elite RP, best of the bunch.

At the ML level – Napoleon Jones is a 30 y/o 1b/DH who can hit for power and average to build a lineup around and Josh Jacquez can play 1b/DH spot that Jones doesn’t. Nicholas Johnson is a 3b/OF with 70+ splits and Wesley Blair is a great bat in RF. Willis Brandt is a C who should hit 45+ homers.

Basically this team is ready to pitch and hit – likely will have a big salary but will also win now.





Season 28 Hall of Fame Voter’s Guide

1 07 2013

This voter’s guide is just going to use the basic stats/awards on the main screen of the player cards – I understand that a lot more advanced metrics can/should be used, but this is for ease of comparison. The potential nominees will be broken down into three sections, I’m sure there will be disagreements (and some value different metrics more than others, such as defense), that’s why we vote! (I’ve chosen to not list positions here but break-up into hitters and pitchers). From season to season players may move tiers based upon relative competition. Overall comments and predictions at the bottom.

First Tier (These are not absolute-musts this season compared to last but based upon this class of nominees and last year’s vote really seem to deserve to get in):

Hitters:
Mike Ponson – 3064 hits, 547 HR, 323 SB – 6AS (12 votes last year)
Steve Thomas – .307 avg, 2776 hits, 636 HR – 6AS, 2 MVP (12 votes last year)

Pitchers:

None

Second Tier (definitely should be considered and get a respectable number of votes):

Hitters:

Gus Davenport – 558 HR, 4AS, 2MVP
Miguel Matos – 2706 hits, 565 HR – 9AS (5 votes last year)
Chris Offerman – 2773 hits, 524 HR – 7AS
Dan Johnson – 490 HR, 305 SB – 7AS, 1 MVP, 4 GG
Glen Judd – 564 HR – 5AS (catcher) (6 votes last year)
Eric Marquis – 648HR, 4AS

Pitchers:

Sammy Bennett – 2.94 ERA, 519 SV – 8AS (9 votes last year)
Mark Chase – 3.26 ERA, 473 SV – 10AS
Pep Lee – 3.53 ERA, 234 wins, 2616 SO, 8AS 1 CY
Sammy Malone – 3.31 ERA, 501 SV – 9AS (5 votes last year)
Dave Newhan – 3.55 ERA, 216 wins, 2218 SO – 8AS
Alex Villano – 2.90 ERA, 529 SV – 8AS
Morrie Keller – 2.82 ERA, 460 SV – 7AS (6 votes last year)

Third Tier (likely will get a couple votes but never enough momentum to get anywhere close):

Hitters:

Harold Cannon - 2755 hits, 388 HR, 596 SB – 6 AS
Steve Dewitt – .304 avg, 530 HR – 3AS, 2MVP
Tony Hernandez – 2607 hits, 604 SB – 7AS, 2 GG
Kelly Payne – 2304 hits, 591 HR – 5AS
Ronnie Stewart – 2232 hits, 589 HR – 2AS
Jeff Witt – 602 HR

Pitchers:

Bernie Gandarilla – 3.23 ERA, 226 wins, 2393 Ks, 5 AS 1 CY
Victor Pascual – 3.68ERA, 204 wins, 2794 Ks, 1 AS
Torey Sierra – 3.99 ERA, 227 wins, 2480 Ks, 2 AS

None

Overall Comments – This group is really again this season dominated by power hitters and relievers, really a continued surprisingly weak crop of starting pitchers. 500 HR alone just doesn’t make a player standout in this group, it will likely take a combination of big homers and 3000 (or close) hits plus a pile of postseason awards to get in amongst this group.

Prediction – Ponson and/or Thomas get a competitive number of votes, all these good relievers (Bennett, Chase, Keller, Malone, Villano) again steal votes from one another keeping any from getting in, a couple SPs (Gandarilla, Lee, Newhan) get a handful of votes apiece. Odds are maybe only one candidate (or none) between Ponson/Thomas make it in this season which lacks any clear first-ballot HOFers in my opinion.





Season 27 Diamonds in the Rough

30 04 2013

The Season 27 Diamonds in the Rough for Shtickless featured a number of strong relief pitchers and a few defensive specialists but not much else.

Will Definitely Make the Big Leagues if they get anywhere close to their projected ratings:

RP Douglas Jay – Texas – great control with 80+ splits, 2 strong pitches
RP Rafael Park – St Louis – nice righty split with good P1
RP Charlie Nixon – Texas – very solid all the way across with a high 90s lefty split
RP – Curtis Larkin – Salem – likely a setup B type

Should make the bigs if they reach their projecteds:

SP – Nolan Corino – St Louis – a LR or late rotation SP
RP – Chili Fitzgerald – Salem – setup B

The hitters were very weak but these guys might make the big leagues someday:

Defensive specialist Cs, all definitely have below average bats – Mike Maroth Scottsdale, BJ Landrum New York Bowie Mafia, Micah White Houston, Shelley Ferguson Las Vegas, Laynce Blasingame – Chicago

Only really decent bat – 1b Tike Easterly Pawtucket – could someday DH or play 1b

Interesting fielder/hitters – SS (?) Max Vega of Toledo and Derek Goodwin of San Antonio – both have very nice defensive ratings with the exception of arm strength which might keep them from everyday jobs

2b/CF – Julio Rosado of Detroit and Shane Morton of San Diego both have very nice glove and range but not much else

There’s about 5-10 other guys who improved a bunch on defense but who overall likely won’t reach their projecteds or don’t have the bats to ever make it to the ML

Overall Texas, St Louis and Salem seemed to get the biggest boost from DITR.





Season 27 Hall of Fame Voter’s Guide

21 03 2013

This voter’s guide is just going to use the basic stats/awards on the main screen of the player cards – I understand that a lot more advanced metrics can/should be used, but this is for ease of comparison. The potential nominees will be broken down into three sections, I’m sure there will be disagreements (and some value different metrics more than others, such as defense), that’s why we vote! (I’ve chosen to not list positions here but break-up into hitters and pitchers). Overall comments and predictions at the bottom.

First Tier (really clearly deserve to get in unless extreme voter apathy or voter bias):

Hitters:
Wiki Armas – .323 avg, 3282 hits, 589 HR, 241 SB - 11 AS, 3 MVP
Hootie Stewart – 3000 hits, 753 HR – 6AS, 2 MVP

Pitchers:

None

Second Tier (definitely should be considered and get a competitive number of votes):

Hitters:

Miguel Matos – 2706 hits, 565 HR – 9AS
Chris Offerman – 2773 hits, 524 HR – 7AS
Mike Ponson – 3064 hits, 547 HR, 323 SB – 6AS
Steve Thomas – .307 avg, 2776 hits, 636 HR – 6AS, 2 MVP
Dan Johnson – 490 HR, 305 SB – 7AS, 1 MVP, 4 GG

Pitchers:

Sammy Bennett – 2.94 ERA, 519 SV – 8AS
Mark Chase – 3.26 ERA, 473 SV – 10AS
Sammy Malone – 3.31 ERA, 501 SV – 9AS
Dave Newhan – 3.55 ERA, 216 wins, 2218 SO – 8AS
Alex Villano – 2.90 ERA, 529 SV – 8AS
Morrie Keller – 2.82 ERA, 460 SV – 7AS

Third Tier (likely will get a few votes but never enough momentum to get in):

Hitters:

Harold Cannon - 2755 hits, 388 HR, 596 SB – 6 AS
Steve Dewitt – .304 avg, 530 HR – 3AS, 2MVP
Tony Hernandez – 2607 hits, 604 SB – 7AS, 2 GG
Glen Judd – 564 HR – 5AS
Kelly Payne – 2304 hits, 591 HR – 5AS
George Rollins – 2680 hits, 623 HR – 2AS
Ronnie Stewart – 2232 hits, 589 HR – 2AS

Pitchers:

None

Overall Comments – This group is really dominated by power hitters and relievers, really a surprisingly weak crop of starting pitchers. 500 HR alone just doesn’t make a player standout in this group, it will likely take a combination of big homers and 3000 (or close) hits plus a pile of postseason awards to get in amongst this group.

Prediction – Armas and Hootie Stewart get in, all these good relievers steal votes from one another keeping any from getting in, if voters unite perhaps one of Ponson/Matos/Thomas gets in, with Ponson the most likely.





Season 27 Rule 5 Analysis and Summary

20 03 2013

The season 27 rule 5 draft featured 17 first round picks. Pawtucket made the most picks of any franchise, going 5 rounds. Washington had three of its players taken in the first four picks (someone explain to the new Washington owner how to protect young players!) and had five total players taken. Detroit and Seattle lost four players each.

First round pick analysis (just one person’s opinion, feel free to disagree!)

1. Rochester – Tony Hudek – SP – a mid-rotation SP who is close to his projecteds, can be immediately inserted into the rotation

2. Pawtucket – Santiago Silva – LF/1b – best rule 5 bat available, potential all-star who can slug and hit for average

3. Las Vegas – Jeremy Andrew – RP – great splits, bad control, good durability, with good control he’d be a star

4. San Fran – Stephen Avery – SP – close to his projected with average splits, a bottom of the rotation or long relief candidate

5. Louisville – Ivan Cedeno – RP – will eventually be strong against lefties, average against righties, better long-term potential

6. Florida – Harry Valenzuela -  RP – 35 y/o 8 year ML vet with a 4.8 million salary – expensive for a set-up guy but solid ratings across the board except for velocity

7. Seattle – Jon Ogea – SP – perhaps the best SP potential of any pitcher but several years away from being a top of the rotation guy

9. Philadelphia – Andrea Butler – CF/2b – girly name, great contact, average but solid elsewhere, a nice long-term role player

10. Ottawa – Geraldo Javier – SP – currently not good enough to be in the bigs, potentially a long relief guy or maybe bottom rotation SP in a pitcher’s park

11. Salem – Dick Hooper – SS – best SS in the draft, great fielder which makes up for a bat that is contact and not much else, great stolen base potential

14. Minnesota – Johnny Wallace – C – above average bat against lefthanders, good potential arm with average pitch calling

16. Texas – Chet Kline – 2b/COF – a guy whose defense doesn’t fit a position well, above average bat but excels in nothing

21. Monterrey – Russell Foster – SS – at 26 nice projected defense but likely won’t reach projecteds, mediocre but passable bat

22. St Louis – Tatsuya Funaki – SP – great projected overall but not good enough for the bigs yet, already on waivers

24. San Antonio – Nicholas Raben – COF – nice health and durability, not good enough for the Majors, likely ever

26. San Diego – Matty Giavotella – DH – great power/contact, great against lefties, average righties and average eye, should slug but strikeout a bunch

30. Trenton – TJ Hughes – SP – likely a long-relief guy, possibly bottom rotation as splits improve, lacking good pitches

Overall owners did a fairly decent job protecting players as likely only 2-3 of these guys (Silva, Hooper, Ogea) have all-star potential but certainly some nice roster fillers for teams in need





Shtickless HBD Blog Resurrected!

20 03 2013

After years of absence the Shtickless blog is back under new (season 26) commish vandydave’s direction. Ideally blog posts will become a regular occurrence with contributions from any interested owners.

Upcoming features -

-  Season 27 division previews (looking for one owner from each division to do the team by team preview)
- Season 27 Hall of Fame voting preview
- Season 27 free agency summary and analysis
- Season 27 rule 5 draft summary and analysis

And more. Or not.

 





B0T STOVE – Half-assed return

30 12 2011

It’s been some time since we last had an update, and there’s a lot of ground to cover. Let’s just tackle these things by division.

AL North

-This is a division that highlights that the league isn’t so much separated into the haves and have nots, but the tries and the try nots. The disparity between the top two teams and the bottom two teams represents a common thread amongst each league.
-Augusta made a huge splash in free agency when they acquired renowned slugger Wiki Armas, but more credit for the team’s success should go to Cleveland holdovers Brian Mays and Roosevelt Adcock. The turnaround has been sharp, but it also makes one wonder how successful dmurphy could have been if he spent half the effort on his team as he did on selling stolen Wii Fits online.
-Toledo trading Wilfredo Gonzalez in-season within the division might seem shocking, but Gonzalez had to go. He wouldn’t let anyone have the remote in the locker room, and insisted on watching reruns of Chopped.
-Virgil Seanez is destined for the DL this season. Not because he’s injury-prone, but because he’ll throw his back out carrying this team.
-gin still doesn’t give a shit about you or this league. He’ll tank all he goddamn pleases. And if it gets him more players like future stud pitcher Bernie Quintero, it might just help him eventually become respectable again.

AL East

-Cy Townsend for Norfolk eats boogers.
-It’s bullshit how many good young players Stu has in his organization.
-Wichita is using great pitching and Gill McMillan to make a push for the division crown, but the real unsung hero for this team is cbriese. Because I’m pretty sure he’s paying for it all and randomly throws players his son’s way to fill out an already strong roster.
-Buffalo’s top draft pick Stretch Martin went on the DL with back spasms, which is somewhat ironic because he probably would have been fine if he actually stretched.
-Pittsburgh selected elite catcher Wilson Harper with the third pick of the draft. Harper used his $5,501,000 bonus to buy a shitload of pajama jeans. He likes to wear them when he’s catching a bullpen session, and even asked the minor league affiliates of Pittsburgh to adopt denim-themed uniforms. So if he says he’s into pajama jeans because he’s being ironic, he’s a lying twat. He loves those pants.

AL South

-For some reason, Sam Swindell always draws the most awful trade offers. Sure, he’s an odd player to evaluate because his low stamina means he’s either an upper echelon starter who can’t get deep into games, or a relief pitcher who can’t really throw all that frequently. But the return suggested by other teams always seems to more or less reflect what you’d get for an above average Set Up A pitcher.
-Montgomery Rule V pick Deep Throat Lee is really popular with the Alabama gay community (i.e. jktcat and Nick Saban), but he insists the name came from his parents’ affinity for anonymous political informants and not anything sexual.
-Kansas City never seems to make any off-season upgrades, and yet still finds itself contending for the division title. Babypop likes to keep everything in house as an organization. The rationalization isn’t that KC is awesome at talent acquisition or developing players, it’s more because babypop is too shy to talk to new players. He’s waiting for the free agents to come to him.
-San Antonio was shocked when slugger Juan Cano dropped to them in the draft. For all intensive purposes, this was a steal. It had them rethinking why he dropped as much as he did. Did they do well enough research? Maybe. But rumor has it that some teams took him off their boards because he listed Whitney as his favorite TV show on a background information survey and they wonder what sort of brain damage he has.
-Ha. Bret. Remember when people thought he wouldn’t suck? That worked out. I can’t even tell if this terrible season is on purpose or not.

AL West

-The fact that Salem is still sometimes playing Hootie Stewart has to be illegal, right? It’s at least unethical to abuse a corpse like that.
-Colorado decided to invest $0 in amateur scouting budgets in a season when they had three first round draft picks. Yeah, the picks were pretty terrible, but they were still better than some of the ones bret would make when he was actually trying.
-The Colorado beat writers have openly started a Hal Fitzgerald for MVP campaign on twitter, but they haven’t yet found a deft pun to use as a catchphrase. So far they have “AL MVP? Go to Hal.” Or “Fitz In Your Box”.
-Albuquerque decided to resign Albert Encarnacion. He’s got an ERA under 4.00 for the first time in ten seasons, so winepimp figured he’d reward him by tacking on another year to his contract. Encarnacion needed the money anyway. He practically went bankrupt when he invested all his money into packs of Garbage Pail Kid trading cards and the Garbage Pail market started drying up.
-One has to wonder what dirt Edgard Amaro has on Fregoe for him to even be on the ML roster, and making over $600,000. My guess is he saw Fregoe pressing his dick into silly putty to see what happens.

NL North

-Cincinnati OF Shaggy Barnes still has never seen Anchorman despite everyone else on the team telling him he “needs to see it”
-Detroit isn’t winning the division, but the team isn’t letting themselves feel down. Instead robusk has them all listening to this album from Kurt Vile.
-Insiders are becoming wary as there hasn’t been any mention recently from robusk about how his team is just overachieving or shouldn’t really be contending for the playoffs. Competing teams are feeling uneasy about the lack of gratuitous self-promotion, because they can’t gauge their own deficiencies otherwise.
-When David Bako came off the Disabled List, people in Hartford cried from their genitals.
-Columbus wound up releasing recent draftee Davey Smith because it was determined that he was not, in fact, former professional wrestler the British Bulldog.

NL East

-Even dherz’s farts have a lisp.
-New York pitcher Ray Putnam has been using some of his salary to fund and produce an off-Broadway play called War Whores. The response has been mixed, calls have not been returned by Spielberg, but Putnam proudly tells anyone around that the puppet sex scenes in his story are much better than in Team America. Specifically stating: “War Whores is like Brown Bunny, Team America is like Bugs Bunny.”
-It had to be a mistake that tylermathias won a World Series. This season is more appropriate for what should be happening in Dover. They should not have strayed so far from mediocrity, because they’ve now lost their identity as a team. Gill McMillan was so disappointed by the change in organizational values that he did not consider returning to Dover.
-Scranton, admirably, is still continuing the experiment of playing two Designated Hitters, despite being in the NL. Phillip May and Octavio Valenzuela are not meant to play the field. But I guess that’s why Alcheez sees a little of himself in those two…
-Brad Leach is black? I never noticed before. It sucks that he can close all those games for jwelsh, but still isn’t allowed in the water ice store.

NL South

-You would think Memphis’ Ryuu Chong knows karate or some martial arts, but he doesn’t.
-I’m really surprised that Bill Mahoney has never had a DL stint in his playing career. I guess good budgeting and good luck can help. But can they help him now that he’s been SUPERJINXED?
-What’s the rez stand for in that rezlife shit Vandydave is always talking about? Is that some Midwestern slang for retarded?
-I bet Clay Knotts would have a hard time making knots out of clay. I think most people would.
-Let it be known that Texas relief pitcher Hootie Pote pronounces his last name like “pootie”. And it’s lots of fun for announcers to say outloud.
-Mexico City had been pretty consistently stellar for a while there. Then once they break the bank to sign Slim Betemit, the team goes to the shitter. Betemit is having the worst season of his career, and he has chimichangas to blame for it.
-It’s weird that as defensively conscious as Mexico City is, they somehow have ten minus plays from their pitching staff. Did someone tell them the grass around the mound is hot lava?

NL West

-Congratulations on your division title, Tisi.
-San Diego really gets a kick out of starting right handed bats.
-Cheyenne’s Grant Simas is Matt Stairs’ favorite fake player on a website he didn’t know existed.
-It’s only a matter of time before Gill Cho starts reeling off Cy Young awards. He’s good already, but the only trophies he’s got now are the used underwear of previous sexual conquests. I’m just surprised the guys didn’t notice their underwear was missing.
-I wonder how many players have trash-talked Mo Mosely by calling him Ho Mo. It has to be pretty high. I doubt there’s much originality in name-calling on the baseball diamond.








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